You

I get butterflies in my stomach each time im meeting you. My cheeks turns red everytime i hear you call my name. I can stare at you for hours and never get bored. I can’t help but laugh at the lame jokes you make. Most importantly, i can’t help myself but smile everytime i look at the ring you gave me. 

So much has changed since the day we met. We have been through a rough start but look where we are now. The challenges each of us had to go through to get to where we are now has made us a better person today.

I cant wait for the day you will be standing in front of me as my imam, praying to Him for our happiness and blessings. 

There’s no doubt that i have fallen for you. And i pray that He won’t take away this feeling from me, and that He bless this beautiful feeling i have for you. 

One down.

Been so busy with work and school and everything else, we have both been neglecting wedding planning. Everything else has taken our energy away that we are so tired and rarely has time to meet too sometimes. But we finally got one thing settled! Its the only thing im so sure of. 

β˜‘οΈ Bridal 

Many more things to settle but this will do for now. 😊

big or small?

As i lay awake in bed tonight, i thought to myself “If i had all the money in the world, what would i be doing right now?” 

As a BTB, money has always been a big issue. I dont come from a well to do family, and i haven’t been relying on my parents for income. But all these expenses regarding the wedding really burns a big hole in the pocket. Both of us also bring home a minimum wage. But all these expectations of a big wedding from the makciks are really putting us on a toll. Should we just have a big extravagant wedding with people we barely knew attending our wedding or should we just have a small simple wedding with the people we really treasure attending our wedding? 

Ive been thinking about this day and night and i can’t seem to make up my mind of what i really want. I have a 12k loan i have to start paying next year, save up another 6k for the rest of my degree, save up for the wedding, put aside money for the future house renovation loan and maybe save up for retirement. 

With this, i keep asking myself: BIG OR SMALL? Truth be told, i really dont mind a small and short sanding at a mosque with only close relatives as guests. But will our parents approve of it? I really wonder.
Ya Allah, please make this journey of us building a family a smooth one. 

Best concert ever!Β 

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I finally had the chance to watch BMTH (my favourite band of all time since i was 16) concert live. Oh, the wait was the most horrendous thing ever. Ive waited a whole lifetime for them to perform in SG again (cos the first time they came i was young and too broke for a concert) and they postponed it twice before finally making it happened. And of course i will always go with my concert buddy and bestie, Faizah my muffin. She definitely saw my crazy fan girl mode the moment BMTH came on stage! My adrenaline was so high when my favourite songs came on. I was jumping and headbanging and everything you would do at a concert. I was shouting the lyrics at the top of my voice mcm orang gile lah!

Honestly the best night of my life so far! Now i need another concert. They call it Post-Concert-Depression!

stronger than this.

I thought i was strong. I know i am stronger than this. It feels like im all alone in this race. Im crumbling into pieces knowing that I only have myself to rely on. No one understands how tired i am, chasing for their wants and not my needs. I don’t need your wants, let me fulfil my needs. Ya Allah, listen to this aching heart and grant this believer of yours strength and patience. πŸ˜”

Happy Birthday, Mr FiancΓ© β€

“Every time I see you, I wish to see a smile because that makes me happy and gives me a reason to stay with from you for a little longer than forever.”

this year would be the first time I’m wishing you happy birthday as your fiancΓ©e. It was weird saying it at first but i’ve gotten around to it. It was a different kind of celebration this time. My best friends helped me with the picnic set up with her own items on Valentines Day (we had no intention on celebrating it, just there to celebrate his birthday hehe). Amazing how it looks with the lights and bears and all. Food was simple and home cooked but we were happy and he was definitely surprised. Overjoyed to be exact.

 

On his birthday itself we initally planned for a short trip to jb for food and shopping. But in the end both of us decided to just watch a movie and have dinner somewhere near cos malas. πŸ˜‚ Had dinner at Muugu Fork which was requested by him and later his friends decided to surprise him with a cake and present.

Birthday boy wearing his presents. (no more superman ke? dah jadi Mr Flash eh? 😝)


All these efforts are definitely worth it at the end of the day.


πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

what do you have for me 2017?

Here i am laying awake at 3.20am writing these thoughts down. So pardon me of my grammer to spelling is off as im actually kind of sleepy. 

2016 has been a long journey full of challenges and tough roads. Ive been through so many bumps that I wanted to give up so badly. I wanted to give up photography but its my passion. so i decided to push through, took up a few assignment and learn from mistakes and decided i should pursue this further. that was when i had the drive to get my degree, something related to this. Alhamdullilah, i got accepted into uniSIM and will be starting my journey as undergrad in Jan 2017. As for my career, i have decided to stay put in this and see where it goes for now, partly because i have school to focus on now. Thankfully i have such an understanding boss. 

One of the main highlight of 2016 will definitely being able to travel to Hong Kong with my bestfriend for the first time and i finally experienced my first Disneyland. Wondering where will i go for 2017… 

Another highlight will definitely be 27 November 2016. No other words could describe how thankful i am to be engaged to the same man i fell for when i was 16. we have been through so much together that this small step is such a new deal for us. oh the struggle to be where we are now was tough, but alhamdullilah we made it through. Masyaallah, HIS plans are definitely better than what we have planned. (πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ that i learnt it the hard way) 

Im ready for 2017, in shaa Allah. We have plans for applying for our own home, settle our wedding vendors and create our dream wedding, focus on my studies, pursue and practice on my photography skills, get a new camera, and definitely spend more quality time with people that matter to me. 

2016 will definitely hold a special place in my heart. will 2017 be the same?